Animal I have become
by SplendentGoddess
Summary: Songfic - Inuyasha transforms and runs amok, but somewhere, in the dark recesses of his mind, he hears her voice… "I love you as you are, Inuyasha. I love you as a hanyou."


Blanket Disclaimers:

Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.

"Animal I have become" is written by and is the property of Three Days Grace. I am in no way affiliated with Three Days Grace, Zomba Recording LLC, or EMI April Music Inc.

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Nominated for Best Song-fic, Inuyasha Fanguild, 2nd Quarter 2006.

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~ Animal I have become ~

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Silence…that was all she could hear. That, and the pounding of her own heart.

No birds sang in the trees, as if knowing if they didn't keep absolutely quiet the new beast of the land would surely devour them all. The oni was defeated, about twenty times over, what remained of its carcass scattered off towards the right. She could see it in her peripheral vision, but she dared not glance towards her side, she dared not lower her gaze from that of the blood-red orbs that pierced directly through her soul in that moment.

Taking a deep breath, Kagome attempted to whisper his name, ever so softly. Tetsusaiga did not rest too far away, if…if even _half _of himself resurfaced, enabled him to grab a hold of his sword, as he'd done back when fighting Ryuukatsusei, then he'd be back to normal.

"Inuyasha?" the miko voiced low, being sure her tone reflected compassion, and absolutely _no _fear. The truth was she wasn't afraid _of _him, she was afraid _for _him.

Something must have happened, a distant sound that she herself could not hear, for with absolutely no warning, he bolted.

_**I can't escape this hell **_

_**So many times I've tried **_

_**But I'm still caged inside **_

_**Somebody get me through this nightmare **_

_**I can't control myself **_

Inuyasha had no idea where he was running, but he knew he had to get away. Away from _her_. He desperately craved blood, even _hers_, and that thought alone had disturbed him so drastically that he knew he had to get away before he gave into himself and demolished everything he held dear. Somewhere from deep within himself, he was calling out to her to save him.

Kagome instantly gave chase, as futile as such an attempt seemed to be, considering there was no real way she could ever hope to keep up with him. She knew better than to use the subduing spell at that point; it would wear off before she caught up to him, and the _last _thing she needed was to anger him. So instead, she followed as quickly as she could, easily able to track the path he gave little effort to conceal as he fled through the forest. Fled what, however, she did not know.

It wasn't long before nightfall neared, and Kagome briefly wondered if it had been the wisest of moves to dash off into the woods, alone, chasing after the full-youkai version of her dearest friend. Surely Sango and Miroku were worried sick by that point, and little Shippou… Shaking her head, Kagome didn't even want to _think _about how the little kit was likely balling his eyes out. Hopefully, they'd all realize that she was okay. She _did _have her arrows with her, after all, not to mention Inuyasha's sword, which she had thankfully thought in advance to bring with her.

Hearing a noise from behind her, she quickly rushed around…

...

Inuyasha knew she was following, but he could run for days, and she'd give up, or die, long before she'd ever reach him. He hated the way she'd looked at him, so caringly, so lovingly. Didn't she see what he was! Another unfortunate animal, this time a bear, happened to be in his path, and he sliced through it as he ran. He didn't need to go _around _the things in the forest when he could simply go _through _them.

_**So what if you can see the dark inside of me **_

_**No one would ever change this animal I have become **_

_**Help me believe, it's not the real me **_

_**Somebody help me tame this animal…**_

Another beast, this time a lower youkai of some kind, attempted to stand up against him. It fell quickly, but the pounding in his head still taunted him. _More blood!_

_**This animal**_

A stream, yes, a stream was what he needed now. He loved to spill blood, but he did not love the stink of it as it clung to him. Crouching down over the edge, he glared confusedly at his own reflection. Angrily, he slapped at the water's surface, dislodging the crimson gaze that had been staring back up at him.

_**This animal**_

...

It was dark, and cold, and Kagome was more than a little scared by that point, both for her friend, as well as for herself. Twice she'd had to purify a lower youkai that had attacked her for the shards she carried. She was only ever so thankful that they had been youkai she could handle.

_Inuyasha, where are you?_

...

*CRASH* went the tenth tree, as the hanyou-turned-youkai effortlessly made a quick clearing out of what had once been a lush piece of forest. He couldn't take it any more! He needed to kill, but he didn't _want _to. Something just didn't _feel _right. But since when did a youkai feel…_anything? _

"AHHHH!" he shouted, as tree number eleven met its fate. Keep running…he had to keep running. That girl, that girl had caught up with him faster than he'd thought she would. She must have closed the gap when he'd stopped at the river. She was still too far away for her to be able to sense his presence, but he could sense hers. He could smell her on the wind. He could feel her in his blood. His body still called out for hers.

_**I can't escape myself **_

_**So many times I've lied **_

_**But there's still rage inside **_

_**Somebody get me through this nightmare **_

_**I can't control myself **_

Finally losing his internal battle, Inuyasha bolted, only that time it was _towards _the wayward ningen girl. She'd pay for following him; she'd pay with her life.

...

Refusing to stop for the night, Kagome's gait was virtually slowed to a crawl as she continued to drag herself forward, stumbling over rocks and sticks as she did so, her mortal vision granting her no favors on this night. The moon, she attempted to recall, should be at about half its brilliance, though that truthfully didn't matter when she was canopied by one of the thickest forests she could ever recall having encountered in all her times traveling in the past. Another evil root laughed as she stumbled, but fortunately, using Tetsusaiga as a walking stick prevented the girl from falling flat on her face.

Kagome couldn't even stop for the night if she wanted to. She had no previsions with her, after all. Oh sure, she had her bow and arrows, and Inuyasha's sword, but she did _not _have her backpack. That was safely back at Kaede's, along with the rest of her friends, she assumed. She _hoped_. The miko hoped they weren't out looking for her, but if they were, she truthfully couldn't blame them. After all, there she was, out looking for Inuyasha. Was there really any difference? Yes, because if they happened to find _her_, they knew that _she _wouldn't be an aggressor _against_ them.

The rather loud sound of a snapping branch suddenly caught her attention then, and she quickly looked up. Though there was really no light in the forest to speak of, whatever small traces of light there were had no trouble reflecting themselves back down at her within his eyes. Eyes that shown at her in the dark. Shown a dismal, crimson red.

He approached her slowly, and her breathing hitched. His youkai eyes glowed with their usual bloodlust, but…there was something _else_… as well. Recognition.

_**So what if you can see the dark inside of me **_

_**No one would ever change this animal I have become **_

_**Help me believe, it's not the real me **_

_**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become **_

_**Help me believe, it's not the real me **_

_**Somebody help me tame this animal… **_

"Inuyasha?" Kagome attempted, earning herself a confused and frustrated expression upon her hanyou-turned-youkai friend's face, as if he were attempting to recall where he knew her from. "Inuyasha…it's me, Ka-go-me." she said softly, daring a faint smile.

His expression baffled her. He craved her, this she could tell. Yet…yet he remained still, fixated, almost as if he were frozen to the spot by the power of a sutra's barrier. If she could just reach him, just hand him his sword…

When she took a step forward he growled a low, deep warning in the base of his throat, telling her to stay clear. He didn't trust her, he didn't trust himself, and even if he _did _know her, he didn't know himself. His youkai was screaming at him, what was he waiting for? She was right there. _KILL HER!_

"No…" she thought she heard him whisper.

_**Somebody help me through this nightmare **_

_**I can't control myself **_

_**Somebody wake me from this nightmare **_

_**I can't escape this hell **_

"Inuyasha?" she questioned again, witnessing him flinch at her words, as if the sound of his own name caused him pain. Perhaps it did…

_MAKE IT STOP! _his head shouted. Blood, more blood would make the pain stop.

He took a step forward then, and for some reason, she took a step back. There was just something suddenly rather unsettling with the way he was staring at her. She didn't fear him, but it would be beyond foolish to not be the least bit wary.

_**This animal**_

"Inuyasha…come back to me…" Kagome attempted to reason, but he barked out a rough laugh, and somewhere from within the youkai part of his psyche, he growled a low "I'm right here."

_**This animal**_

Her heart jumped up in her throat upon registering the harsh sound of his laugh, the cruel venom behind his words.

_**This animal**_

In a flash he moved forward, his claws lethally long and sharp, and carelessly wrapping them around her chin to steady her shaky gaze, he relished in the tangy scent of blood that fluttered through the air as he scratched the delicate flesh of her jaw.

_**This animal**_

"Inu…yasha…" she whispered desperately, and his grip lowered, his murderous digits wrapping around her throat.

_**This animal**_

"Shut up!" he barked in her face, the tips of his claws piercing her skin as he tightened his grip. He didn't want to kill her, but he didn't think he'd have a choice.

_**This animal**_

"You shouldn't have followed me." he stated solemnly, as he began to squeeze.

_**This animal**_

She only had one chance. She could scream, but she knew that no one was around to hear her. Her only savior stood inches before her face, buried deeply within the mind of that monster.

"I love you as you are, Inuyasha." she managed to rasp out despite the pressure around her neck. "I love you as a hanyou."

His grip loosened ever so slightly, a look of bewilderment momentarily strewn across his face.

"Ka…gome?"

His jagged purple stripes remained every present upon his cheekbones, but, for the briefest of moments, Kagome thought she saw a reflection of _amber _in those shimmering pools of his.

"…Hel…help me…" he forced out, right before his eyes burned crimson once more.

Recognizing her one and only chance, Kagome nodded solemnly, his claws having fully relinquished their claim of her throat, even if only temporarily. Without hesitation, she softly whispered "Osuwari," unease washing over her at the loud growl that commenced as a result of his face getting planted to the ground. The subduing spell had not reversed the transformation itself. She had about five seconds to live…

Crouching down quickly, she made a grab for his right hand with her own, earning herself horrendous slash marks from his left in his retaliation as he reached across and swiped at her, but she ignored the blood spilling from her arm as she steadied her grip of his hand, which for some reason did not struggle against her hold, as she eased Tetsusaiga's hilt into his palm. He'd raised his left hand to slice at her once more, but froze mid-swing as soon as his flesh touched the sword. Kagome could sense the pulses rushing through him, and dared to release the breath she had been holding, fearing it had been her last.

"Inuyasha?" she asked after he remained still a few moments longer than she'd expected him to.

"Kagome…" His voice was broken, hollow, and if she didn't know any better, she would swear she heard the shudder of unshed tears. "I…I remember…" he whispered brokenly, and her heart went out to him in that moment…

_**So what if you can see the dark inside of me **_

_**No one would ever change this animal I have become **_

_**Help me believe, it's not the real me **_

_**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become **_

_**Help me believe, it's not the real me **_

_**Somebody help me tame this animal… **_

"It's okay, shhhhh." she offered as she held him.

Like a scared child, she cradled him in her grasp. He would not permit his tears to fall, but she could see them glistening in his pools of amber. Especially when he glanced up at the horrible scratches around her jaw and throat, staining her neck and the collar of her blouse. Her arm, or rather, what was _left _of her arm, was exposed to the air, and his eyes, the fabric of her sleeve completely torn away, as was much of her flesh.

_**This animal I have become. **_

Kagome knew she'd need to go back to her time; she undoubtedly needed stitches. But she also knew her wounds weren't anywhere near as severe as they could have been. In his full-youkai form, Inuyasha could have effortlessly ripped her arm completely off her body, and instead all she had were a few scratches that could have been caused by a bear? He had been fighting it. She would be all right, she would definitely have a few scars, but they would only be physical; mentally she would be all right. Her main concern was for her friend, who would likely have scars as well, though of a different nature. It would probably take him quite a while to get over this incident, if he ever truly got over it at all. Her first priority, though, was getting him back to the village and herself to a hospital. The rest would come.

"Come on…" Kagome offered in that a moment, clasping his hand in her left. "Let's go home."


End file.
